Grief & Loss Counseling
WHAT IS TRANSITION?
Transition is anything that causes us to lose our bearings in our lives.
Things that defined us like; relationships, jobs, places or people shift and we find ourselves a little (or a lot) lost.
Getting support during a major transition won’t make it go away, but it will help you find the perspective you need to establish a sense of resilience, meaning and the ability to manage until you find yourself oriented to the new reality forming around you.
Getting support during a major transition won’t make it go away, but it will help you find the perspective you need to establish a sense of resilience, meaning and the ability to manage until you find yourself oriented to the new reality forming around you.
There are infinite ways that we can find ourselves lost in our own lives. Getting support can help you better access your strength and wisdom.
Sometimes after some loss, loss of a loved one, loss of a dream, loss of a way of living, we find ourselves looking in the mirror and the person looking back looks like us but doesn’t feel like us. Times when we do the things we always do and hear our voice and see our actions knowing them as our own, but they still feel empty, void of us. The alive self in us is missing and what remains is pain, confusion, and hope that often feels less and less every day.
What is so haunting about this is that we can remember ourselves, we know that we were whole in the past, that this is not normal and it does not feel okay. There is such a deep ache and fear beneath these times that it often seems as if they should not be happening, like something is wrong and that we are probably the ones that made it go wrong.
This idea that this ‘should’ not be happening is especially painful and this is important…this is the thing to hold onto; the truth is it ‘should’ be happening.
Think of it like this. We are a boat in the ocean and the chaos and pain is a storm. Storms ‘should’ happen, they should be intense sometimes, especially when big changes in weather have happened. No one would say that a storm in the ocean shouldn’t be happening or that the boat is failing by not stopping the storm. It is a cheesy metaphor but is not inaccurate. We do not get to control when the storm starts, ends or how it goes. We just bounce and maybe even thrash about until it is done.
So basically, if it ‘should’ be happening, then the awful internal story about how we’re a failure for being a mess for so long is not true. If thinking we are failing is not true and it hurts us to think about it, we could maybe stop saying that to ourselves.
When we find ourselves saying ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me” or “I don’t know how to make it stop”, we could note that these are just scary facts of a reality, that we are in fact scared and sad, but that we are not failing